The Confident Child: Raising Children to Believe in Themselves

"We understand far more about how self-esteem can be damaged in childhood--through neglect or abuse--than we do about how it can be fostered, preserved, and reinforced," author Terri Apter writes in The Confident Child: Raising Children to Believe in Themselves. Apter aims to help parents recognize problems in a child's "self theory" (a child's self-image and ideas about her potential), and to help the child "sustain positive attitudes and correct destructive ones." In clear, concise prose, The Confident Child focuses on the age span from 5 to 15, the time in life when self-esteem and confidence are at their most delicate and are the most sensitive to nurturing. Chapters cover assessing a child's self-esteem, being an imperfect parent without ruining your child's life (managing anger, grief, and disappointment), working within the delicate balance of discipline (teaching your child to be ashamed of her behavior but not of herself), success and failure at school, the effects of sibling rivalry, social confidence, and the early teen years. Much of the material in The Confident Child is original; Apter, a social psychologist and researcher and author of Altered Loves, conducted a five-year study that is the basis of this compassionate and practical book. Yet Apter also owes a debt to the works of Erik Erickson, Daniel Goleman, and others. --Ericka Lutz