250 Very Questionable 'Haiku': (Wherein Basho somewhat may get bashed, and his Kigo may get horribly kicked)

250 Very Questionable ‘Haiku’ truly is meant to be absolutely nothing but serious Fun and Games. Any aspirations toward conforming to all and sundry supposedly time-honored Haiku (or, for that matter, Senyru) traditions have been chucked out of every window. Each of the 250 included pieces received a special sort of Grammatical Attention, but only in terms of the ‘English’ side of possible or probable matters.

Numerous little inside jokes may be found, here and there, in 250 Very Questionable ‘Haiku’; however, the total aggregation might, in some way or other, prove universally assimilable.

The main, and perhaps only, intentional stylistic conformity has been in terms of the now nearly excruciatingly famous 5-7-5 syllabic compositional aspect apparently insisted on by the Japanese ‘haiku masters’ Basho and Issa. [Otherwise: hmmm!]

TODAY
Today is a song
that wears a wondrous sarong
and hits a fat gong.

PLEASE
Please pass the rice, dear.
Please, dearest, pass me the rice.
Please pass the rice, dear.

WAR
War can be cheerful.
I take him out to run some,
and he yips at me.