Our Dumb Century: The Onion Presents 100 Years of Headlines from America's Finest News Source

Every Wednesday, work at Amazon.com--along with just about every other company connected to the fantastical "information superhighway" invented by Vice President Al Gore and actress Hedy Lamarr--grinds to a halt as employees hasten to read the latest issue of The Onion, America's most popular newspaper based in Madison, Wisconsin. But most of the paper's fans have started reading it only within the last few years, and are sadly unaware of The Onion's mighty journalistic legacy. To combat this cultural illiteracy, Editor in Chief Scott Dikkers and his writing staff have assembled this collection of great front pages from the last hundred years. Here is just a sampling of the headlines:

A New Century Dawns! McKinley Ushers in Bold New "Coal Age"

Archduke Franz Ferdinand of Austria Boasts: "No Man Can Stop Me"

AWESOME! Nation Wowed by Tremendous Hindenburg Explosion

Martin Luther King: "I Had a Really Weird Dream Last Night"

Clinton Denies Lewinsky Allegations: "We Did Not Have Sex, We Made Love," He Says

And those are just the headlines; the stories themselves are all masterpieces of the journalist's trade. Of course, readers with delicate sensibilities may find some of these accounts a bit too risqué, and perhaps even tasteless. (Among the potential offenders: Rosa Parks's decision to "screw this bus shit" and take a cab.) But if you're looking for an antidote to all the 20th-century hoopla promulgated by stuffed shirts like Peter Jennings and Harold Evans--not to mention the best history book since 1066 and All That--then Our Dumb Century is the one for you. --Ron Hogan