Unintentionally Celibate

Kinky, pornstar-style sex. In every room and every position. Sex advice for the inept, the knowledgeable, and the sexiest sex-ers having sex. If that s what you re looking for this is probably not the book for you. Because I m currently in the middle of the world s greatest stretch of unintentional celibacy. If you want a sexy book like Fifty Shades of Grey, this is not it. I haven t had sex in two years, six months, three days and 2.5 hours. During this time, I've learned two facts: Fact one: Granny panties never lead to coitus. Fact two: Using the word coitus never leads to coitus. My comedic tragedy started when I was twelve and looked exactly like the female version of George Costanza from Seinfeld. My life was full of shenanigans after that. This humor book is a collection of those tales, ramblings, and adventures. But mostly it s about all of the fabulous sex I m not having.