You Have to Say I'm Pretty, You're My Mother: How to Help Your Daughter Learn to Love Her Body and Herself

A therapist and a mom have written a wise book for mothers of teenage girls who spend half of their time in front on a mirror and the other half fighting with them about what they see. The authors' fresh approach urges moms to "think of fat as an emotion." A daughter’s belly shirts, body critiques, and food quirks are the vocabulary to talk about what is really bothering her: she’s aware of who she isn’t (razor thin and model perfect), but hasn’t figured out who she is. Stephanie Pierson and Phyllis Cohen’s techniques for teaching body comfort are subtle and highly practical. For example, how to give your daughter a compliment, help her understand sexuality, distinguish between taking her body apart and knowing what looks best on her, and, on the lighter side, what to say if you never want her to talk to you again. The beauty of their approach is a two-way mirror, they also ask mothers to explore their own feelings about beauty and body. The book’s depth, humor, and guidance will attract many grateful readers. --Barbara Mackoff