Should We Stay Together?

Falling in love is the easy part; finding a truly compatible mate takes know-how. Drawing from a 10-year study of premarital characteristics that predict later marital satisfaction, author Jeffry H. Larson presents an excellent resource for couples considering marriage. Opening chapters debunk the many myths associated with happy relationships, everything from searching for soul mates to obeying the whims of the heart. Larson points to three key factors that affect all partnerships: contexts (each person's background), individual traits, and couple traits; he then shows how similarities and differences in each category lead to success or failure in marriage. By far the most intriguing aspect of this combination textbook and workbook is its series of checklists, discussion questions, and short tests designed for assessing one's relationship. Working alone or with their partners, readers can rather quickly determine the potential long-term satisfaction of their current relationships, based on the 24 key characteristics outlined in Larson's Relationship Evaluation (RELATE) questionnaire. Brief questions regarding similarity of values, communication skills, and conflict response patterns receive points that correspond to an evaluation scale. Larson concludes each exercise with plenty of clear, descriptive support material so participants can better interpret their test scores. For those who uncover a few bumps in their RELATE triangle, a final chapter offers an abundance of self-help and couples' therapy books, tapes, and workshops. --Liane Thomas