Sticks and Stones: 7 Ways Your Child Can Deal with Teasing, Conflict, and Other Hard Times

Words can hurt. Any child who's been teased can tell you that. It takes an adult, though, to teach children how to defend themselves against those painful taunts. In Sticks and Stones, Scott Cooper, parent and former teacher and coach, wants to offer a "tool kit" of methods and exercises that are supposed to offer children ways to express themselves assertively, respond to blame and teasing, resolve conflicts, and talk confidently in social conversations--all while enhancing their communication skills and self-awareness. These are worthy and ambitious goals that Cooper complicates by mixing all sorts of metaphors into his method. Not only are these exercises supposed to form a tool kit, they are also supposed to correspond to "verbal judo" moves, which in turn are classified into different "ways" that correspond to different birds (Cooper happens to be an avid birdwatcher). The Way of the Blue Jay, for example, offers tools and verbal moves for "assertive self-expression," while the Way of the Crow teaches tricks that help children respond to blame. Get past the idiosyncratic labeling, however, and Cooper's exercises are sensible, practical, and self-explanatory. Want to teach your children how to accept criticism? Teach them how to say, "That's a good idea. I'll try better next time." --Sumi Hahn