The Secrets of Tudor Hall

Tessa Carlyle's face was badly disfigured in an automobile accident though she still thinks she is a beautiful model. Her mind snapped, and she had to be hospitalized in a mental institution. Her father has been accused of killing Tessa's mother, and is on the lam from the law. Back at her home, the forbidding Tudor Hall, waiting for her return, are the huge housekeeper Helga (think Frankenstein's monster in drag), the cook Mama who practices voodoo, and Danny, the young and likable handyman. Tom Albright, her gay male nurse, the book's narrator, brings Tessa home from the hospital and joins the household. Tom introduces Tessa to Billy Brandon, a defrocked priest who's been conning money out of gullible unfortunates in his storefront sanctuary. Tessa falls for Billy, and Billy falls for Tessa's money. Tessa marries Billy; they go to Europe for the honeymoon where with booze, drugs, and depravity she becomes a basket case. When they return, Billy shows his true colors and turns on the members of the household. The book is replete with séances, a frightening chapel behind Tudor Hall, skeletons, bodies that appear to come back from the dead, and Voodoo magic practices. The novel is partly tongue-in-cheek and shouldn't be taken too seriously. It's a dark comedy, a wry take on life with a gaggle of eccentric characters.