Too Much Time on His Hands: The Unauthorized Ultimate Statistical Guide of the World Champion Boston Red Sox

Too Much Time on his Hands is a mind-blowing statistical journey written by a crazed wing-nut of a Red Sox fan with clearly too much time on his hands.
A handy guide for all diehard Red Sox fans, it s a great tool for those casual Red Sox fans that want to think like the front office thinks. Do you sit Dustin Pedroia tonight against Scott Kazmir? Just turn to the Pedroia alphabetical index for your answer. Josh Beckett is pitching against Jorge Posada? Easy, just turn to the Beckett alphabetical index. Mike Lowell is up with runners at first and second and two out? Just turn to Lowell s situational hitting section. Jonathan Papelbon is called on to protect a one-run lead? Just flip to Pap s situational pitching. It s so easy that even a Yankee fan can do it (providing, of course, you can find one that can read).
You re at Fenway Park and some loud-mouthed yahoo (you know the type) yells obscenities at Terry Francona for allowing Julio Lugo to bat against Roy Halladay in the late innings of a tight game. Simply turn to the offending blowhard and say, Lugo batted .500 versus Halladay last season, you foul-mouthed imbecile, and then proceed to shove popcorn up his or her nose (NOTE: do not attempt on large, muscular people).
Each one of these stats has been compiled with care by a man that s watched every pitch of every game of the 2007 championship season.