Awakening to Myself: An Odyssey of Discovery and Self-Acceptance

When do we really accept our sexual selves? Does it occur when we first learn of the inherent differences in the male and female physiques and learn to accept what we were born with? Is it when we become physical adults with all of the requisite hormones and genetic apparatus that allows us - nay, requires us - to procreate and perpetuate our species? Or is it when we reach a stage of emotional maturity and recognize the responsibilities we have to ourselves and others, particularly in regards to our sexual desires and proclivities? For most people I have to assume that this never really becomes much of an issue. They've grown up "normal", at least in a sexual sense, with no real conflicts or unusual experiences that might ever make them second guess or wonder where they've come from and where they are now, and making it easy to see where they're going from here. But, depending on the paths traveled, it may not be uncommon for someone to one day stop and gaze at their image in the mirror and ask, "Who am I, really?" Looking middle age square in the face, one day I found myself staring into the mirror and wondering if all I had done and all I had experienced up to now was worth it. Was I really who I wanted to be? Was I really worthy of the affections and trusts placed in me by friends and loved ones? Was I even "normal"? And that when I looked hard at my past and started to write this journal.