The Year I Learned To Text: Why Am I Having Sex with a Muslim in My Basement?

During the reign of America s first Black President and the continuation of the War on Terror, a post-menopausal Republican-Christian comedian/actor/realtor living in a small bungalow in Hollywood grapples with fear, prejudice, and the addictive chemistry of love when a Persian Muslim man, 22 years her junior, magically enters her orderly celibate life to change her forever.
Born in California in 1948, Juliet Montague is a confused, irrational, and insecure woman of her time. She lives alone with her two dogs; her beloved cat now in Cat Heaven after being attacked and maimed by a Hollywood opossum that Ms. Montague hunted down with a rubber mallet. Julie continues to light a scented candle and sit on her balcony waiting in vain for her last great romance while she writes the sequel to The Year I Learned to Text, tentatively entitled: Honeymoon in Yemen; Not Without My Dogs.