When the Truth Hurts: Lying to Be Kind

Most people value honesty. They want to tell the truth. They also value kindness. Sometimes, though, honesty and kindness collide. That happens when telling the truth would be hurtful, but being kind involves telling a lie. How do people negotiate this clash of noble intentions? When the Truth Hurts: Lying to Be Kind is a brief book with two parts. Part 1 is adapted from this chapter: DePaulo, Bella M., Morris, Wendy L., & Sternglanz, R. Weylin (2009). When the truth hurts: Deception in the name of kindness. In Anita L. Vangelisti (Ed.), Feeling hurt in close relationships (pp. 167-190). Cambridge: Cambridge University Press. In Part 2, questions that various reporters have asked Professor DePaulo over the years are collected and answered. Professor Bella DePaulo is an award-winning social scientist and Harvard Ph.D. who has been studying the psychology of deceiving and detecting deceit for decades. She is one of the most renowned scholars in the field. Dr. DePaulo’s previous books on deception include Behind the Door of Deceit, The Hows and Whys of Lies, The Lies We Tell and the Clues We Miss, Is Anyone Really Good at Detecting Lies (with Charles F. Bond, Jr.), and The Psychology of Dexter. Bella DePaulo is also an expert on single life and has published Singled Out, Single with Attitude, and Singlism.