ERIC BERNE the best of Games People Play

One of the great self-help books. I am reading kindle version. i read the original years ago. But his focus is still helpful for anyone that wants to improve. Eleanor Takahashi Fun reading, practical human relationships with great anecdotes. Elyse Roleson Love the examples and the choices from TA rocked. A must read Michael M. Bernoff Kinnie explains well Berne's core elements of the Child, Adult and Parent ways of engaging with other people as well as looking at the more important games people play with each other. Graham M. Rhodeson This is an inexpensive yet entertaining and well written introduction to Eric Berne's Games People Play. Ernest Kinnie provides insights and help for getting into and appreciating Bern's ideas. I recommend it most enthusiastically. Fred Bennett 1. Eric Berne: the games people play 2. Twilight Reality: Fabulous Fantasy fun 3. Freedom and Joy: The Buddha and Maude When your Adult, Parent, and Children work well together, changing the balance among them to meet the needs of the moment, you have a good life. If one becomes too dominant too much of the time, you close off possibilities for love, joy and adventure. You’ll also explore the games you play, your stamp collection, and the fairy tales that shape your life. YOUR ADULT, PARENT, AND CHILDREN Start with your Natural Child, the part that is adventurous, happy and free. It will be hard for your Natural Child to come out and play if your Adult, Parent or Unnatural Children get in the way. Adult is your words-data-logic, computer brain. It has an enormous amount of information about the world, knowledge essential for your survival. But your Adult is usually aware of only superficial aspects of the natural world. For instance your Adult glances at a tree, quickly classifies it as a tree, using 2 or 3 defining characteristics, and pays no further attention to it. To you the real tree now exists only as a word. Our schools and much of our culture reward that kind of shift, changing Reality into words, and you become a proficient word pusher who hasn’t felt the bark of a tree in years. Your Adult will want good, logical reasons why you should spend time walking down the street acting like a kid. Your Parent may also give you plenty of trouble. It’s your authoritarian, judgmental part that expects you to measure up. Taking a silly walk in the park when there’s work to be done is not measuring up. You should be finishing that report, cleaning your bedroom, and reading a good book instead of acting weird and attracting the attention of strangers. What good is that going to do anybody? Your Parent also only notices surface aspects of Reality. “That grass needs cutting!” “That sidewalk is filthy!” “Those clothes make her look fat!” “Why are you wasting your time on a stupid walk?” To help reassure your Adult and Parent, tell them the book you are reading told you to, and it’s written by a PhD psychologist who knows what he’s talking about. Then there are your Unnatural Children, shaped and scrambled when you were a tiny tyke playing in the sandbox. We all grew up in environments that were both toxic and nourishing. Unnatural Children are created by under- or over-controlling parents, dangerous neighborhood, serious illness, lousy schools, etc. It never occurs to a beaten down Unnatural Child that puddles are to splash, strange doors are to open, weird clothes are to wear, and frogs are to sleep with. A rebellious Unnatural Child does them all. Everybody has beaten down and rebellious Unnatural Children because nobody grows up in a perfect environment, or has perfect genes. Your beaten down Unnatural Child will be too scared to go on that walk. Your rebellious Unnatural Child will tell me to go jump in a cold lake.