More Than A Junkie / Kayla Small


At 17, I became a heroin addict. This is the true memoir of how heroin became my boyfriend, my best friend, and my whole life. "Replacing my tan skin was now an over pale, greyish color. I decided to wear my black hair straight and though it had gotten longer, it was no longer bouncy - just wavey and turning lifeless. I had gotten really skinny over the time of my breakup to pre-dope, but now I could see hip bones when I walked; when I slept I saw ribs during each inhale. Most of the time, probably because I was high, I thought I looked amazing. Tonight, I cried instead. I thought I was the most hideous person in the world. I was no longer the person people came to for advice (except for the select few who I didn’t see often who couldn’t tell the change in me), instead I had become the person who’s facebook I’d lurk for the latest drama. I remember thinking people who did drugs and got into fights and didn’t give a fuck about anything were cool, and now that I was living and breathing in that lifestyle I hated it. I wasn’t ready. I still lived off of the state’s insurance, I couldn’t adult yet if I tried."
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