Conscious Bride's Wedding Planner

Bridal Counselor Sheryl Paul offers a thoughtful alternative to "bridezilla," the perfectionist bride who acts as if a flawless pricey wedding will ensure a lasting marriage. Instead, Paul uses a workbook format to invite each woman to become "a conscious bride"--one whose pre-nuptial preparations include both emotional and practical to-do lists. The key is working through the ambivalent feelings that surround each tangible task. And here's the payoff: "Working through uncomfortable feelings while planning a wedding is an opening to joy -an opportunity to be fully present." Each chapter pairs a practical task, such as choosing a location, creating a budget or writing wedding vows, with an emotional one. For example, in one brilliant section, the practicality of making a guest list is paired with the emotional homework of grieving for lost loves and tackling the need to please. Paul's approach creates a fascinating hybrid of anthropology (using a theory of rites of passage) and depth psychology (acknowledging the shadow side of every wedding.) She then packages these insights with a kicking set of charts and checklists. Though targeted for brides, it is not for women only. Powerful exercises urge couples to align every decision to reflect their identity as a couple. Some brides may object to a walk on the dark side of their wedding plans. But in Paul's capable hands, counsel about fear and loss, florists and white satin dresses co-exist without sounding like Dr. Phil meets the former Martha Stewart. Her advice is fresh, highly practical and optimistic. --Barbara Mackoff