Jeff, One Lonely Guy

Nick Flynn is a poet and the author of the memoir Another Bullshit Night in Suck City, the basis for the major motion picture Being Flynn, starring Robert De Niro, Julianne Moore, and Paul Dano. His recent books include The Captain Asks for a Show of Hands and The Ticking Is the Bomb.

Nick Flynn: The book is really something. I'm not sure what to call it--a cross between Studs Terkel's Working and...what? The beginning of a love affair? Or a stay at rehab, if one were allowed to text from rehab. It's unlike anything I've ever read. How do you describe it to people?

Jeff Ragsdale: I was walking around New York City one day. I'd just gone through a horrific breakup. I was isolated, extremely depressed. As I was walking, I came up with the idea of posting a flyer. In essence it said, "Call me, I'm lonely as hell." I thought if I was lucky 10 people would call. It took off instantly. Hundreds of calls. The first month I didn't record or take notes on any of the conversations. I hadn't really talked to people (outside of my significant others) for years. I loved talking to these people who called. The majority of the conversations were hyper-intense, dealing with addiction, abuse, suicide, dysfunctional families, psychological disorders, crime. I met people from all walks of life, all over the world. For me, it was much-needed therapy. I was the loneliest guy in town.

NF: The form is a highwire act, with the barest of set-ups. We are immediately up there with you, with these voices coming at us. It's both thrilling and deeply unsettling. Did you find the form, or invent it?

JR: I found that when people are revealing their innermost secrets, there’s no time for backstory or setup. "My dad’s gonna die soon. He has terminal cancer. We’ve never gotten along. I wasn’t there for him when mom died. I acted like a spoiled brat. I’ve wasted my entire life being selfish."

It’s amazing what people will reveal to someone they don’t know on the other end of a phone. People revealed their most intimate sexual fantasies to me. They would call with excruciating things they just had to get off their chest but couldn’t tell friends or family members. "I’m bored with my girl, but she’s a cutter. I’m afraid she’ll hurt herself if I break it off. What should I do?" I became a relationship counselor, a sex therapist, a probation officer, a confession booth. I found that people just need someone outside their inner circle to talk to, who’ll just listen and won’t judge.

NF: I know that this is a collaboration of sorts, between you, David Shields and Michael Logan. How did that work?

JR: I was a former writing student of David’s. I felt there was possibly a book here. I described some of these conversations I was having with people. He and his friend Michael were mesmerized. We came up with the idea of taking these conversations and combining them with passages from a personal essay I'd been working on. David and Michael called themselves the re-mixers.

NF: You said "re-mixers." This is very much in the spirit of David's manifesto, Reality Hunger, in that we don't have to create the world, simply pay closer attention to it.

JR: Nothing is more interesting than day-to-day existence. We just wanted to frame what was out there. Give voice to how people talk now. Show how they're trying to keep it together.