Choosing To Grow: Through Marriage

I didn’t want to be married anymore. Our relationship wasn’t the fun, ideal, romantic version I had created in my head, and all I wanted was to get in my car and drive far away from the life that had consumed me. Expressionless, I stood holding my nine-month-old baby as I watched our three-year-old tear apart the toys…again. No husband in sight and no light at the end of the exhausting reality. If this was marriage…I was starting to think I had promised more than I could deliver. Eight years later, on the back side of an incredible journey, I can confidently proclaim I believe wholeheartedly in those vows of marriage. Our life isn’t always fun, ideal or romantic, but it is truly the only life I want to lead. I didn’t come to this conclusion standing still, however. Once I got my feet moving from where I felt stalled, I found strength, beauty, and joy in the most surprising places. Those discoveries came on the heels of my decision to grow. It was a choice to work through it…it was a choice to learn what I could about myself and our marriage…it was a choice to be open to changing my behavior first. Choosing to Grow: Through Marriage is the story of how I got here. It is not a fix-all manual, but it is a real account of the possibilities. We all have the capacity for change and growth…we just have to choose to do it.