The Chaos of My Mind

After a year and a half of deep depressions, suicide attempts and numerous self-injury caused scars, Kristi Smith was diagnosed with bipolar disorder, general anxiety disorder and borderline personality disorder. Add into all of this a growing awareness of her exclusive sexual attraction to women and you've got just a taste of the hard time Kristi has had trying to hold onto her faith. The struggle to hold onto her faith has never been because of disbelief in God, but rather trying to see a loving God through the haze of depression and the loneliness of celibacy. Through her ensuing struggles she learned to cope in whatever ways she could, often turning to a razor blade for comfort. Writing became one of the best outlets for her pain and perhaps the most positive coping method she has learned to date. The Chaos of My Mind is composed of three years of those inspiring journals. But be warned--in order to appreciate the light at the end of the tunnel for what it is, you have to also see the darkness, the all-encompassing hopelessness that comes before.