Spanish for Xenophobes (Xenophobe's Guide)

Spanish for Xenophobes is a humorous approach to Spanish that shows you can speak the language simply by using Plain English. Invaluable phrases will spill off your tongue, including such gems as: “Do you have a garlic-free zone?,” “Your donkey is standing on my foot,” and “It's going to take how long?”

 

Fun in the sun

Anyone attempting to understand the Spanish must first of all recognize the fact that they do not consider anything important except total enjoyment. If it is not enjoyable it will be ignored.

 

You can't buy happiness

The happiness of the individual is considered to be much more important than money. The goat herder who strolls the countryside with his animals breathing in the fresh air and loving his problem-less life is much more admired than the wealthy industrialist who hasn't time to enjoy life and spends quite a lot of his earnings on medicines to calm his peptic ulcers.

 

Sexplicit

In Spain lust is ever in the air. There is nothing about the Spanish appreciation of sex that is inhibited or restrained. It is accepted that both men and women love making love, which is why there are very few sexual crimes in the country.

 

Everything in triplicate