The Department of Cautionary Tales

It's rough being a mad scientist.  You make one tiny little mistake, like covering all of Houston in fungus, and they cart you off to a top-secret military prison laboratory.  I'm Juniper Strauss and I'm stuck on the juvenile level at DCT.     

It's not so bad.  They gave me a shiny lab filled with all the latest equipment and let me do whatever I want so long as I complete the projects they give me.  Sometimes it's splicing vaccines into peanuts; sometimes it's creating hallucinogenic vodka.

The other rogue experimentalists are pretty cool.  There is my new best friend, Boom.  She's a grouchy chemist from New York.  You know that ecodisaster that killed all the fish in the Great Lakes last year?  That was her having PMS.  Rex has a time traveling watch that he uses to prank historical figures and Kamal hacks into nuclear silos just for fun.  Don't get me started on Shelley.  I try to stay on her good side because her bad side has lizard claws.  She turned her boyfriend into a giant mutant bearman.  He's in DCT too.  They have the most messed up relationship.

I'm starting to think I don't want to be an evil genius.  Maybe I want to invent socially acceptable things like giant carrots or a cure for herpes or whatever.  I'm not sure how to be a good guy, though.  I don't exactly have tons of positive role models.