Dr Albert Heindstein's Contemporary English Dictionary of Flatulence

"Dr. Albert Heindstein’s Contemporary English Dictionary of Flatulence" is a life’s work that spans three generations. “It all started with my Granddaddy” says the author. “To him, a fart was the funniest sound in the whole world and I must’ve inherited the fascination.”

Everyone does it. Everyone laughs at it. And everyone has a name for it. "Dr. Albert Heindstein’s Contemporary English Dictionary of Flatulence" attempts to catalog as many names, types, categories, jokes, songs, poems and general Fart Facts into one stinky, wonderful place. If you’re like any one of the millions of undercover farters out there, then the CED of F is the book for you. Get ready to laugh til you…well, you know.

Culled from every available resource, the author has combed the web, books and magazines, and tapped the minds of friends, family, total strangers, neighbors and coworkers, young and old, rich and poor, any race, any gender, any ethnicity, from Georgia and Texas to New York and California, any nation, any continent, wherever people gather together to discuss that mighty rushing wind…all to bring to mind what we all already know.

A fart is funny.

“Are these all my ideas? Of course not. But some of them are. Some of them are stories and descriptions and tales that were handed down though my own family and friends. And some of them were found here and there. But the bottom line for me is, that flatulence, no matter the words we use to describe it, was meant to be shared and enjoyed. Why hide it away or lock it all up so no one else can get at it and laugh? That’s my purpose for compiling this book.”

The good Doctor continues, “Did you know that your farts have names? Did you know that when you fart, you’re contributing to global warming? Did you know that there’s a farting superhero? Did you know there’s a guy out there who makes a living, farting songs…recording them and selling CDs of his farts. Really. That fact alone is worth getting this book, in my opinion.”

If ever a common thread bound mankind together, that thread is to be found in the primal, inescapable, sometimes scary, always laughable poot. Call it what you will. Lie and say it’s not funny. Pretend that it wasn’t you. But this is what you read this far for. This is what you hoped to see. And more awaits you inside! So get your copy of "Dr. Albert Heindstein’s Contemporary English Dictionary of Flatulence"…and laugh at yourself!