When Never Comes: A Look Inside the Bipolar Mind (When Never Comes:Inside the Bipolar Mind Book 1)

This isn't necessarily a book about being bipolar. Rather, it's a demonstration of what a mind is capable of --- in keeping with the idea that MY mind usually wants rid of me. Thankfully, one learns how to out think beyond the highs & lows of being bipolar. Finding little comfort in things like religion (for instance), I learned how to negotiate with the thoughts that were always raging in me like a tempest.

The thing about having your own mind as your most deadly enemy is that, in order just to survive, you learn how to bargain with it. You make its energy work for, rather than against you. If you'd like to see what beautiful dreams, and what horrid nightmares are generated by manic-depression, then I invite you to examine with me, the bipolar mind. At least YOU have the choice to simply visit.


This series of essays was started in 1995 or so, and 3 years later, I had about 1300 pages of raw, unrefined manuscript laying in front of me. I've carved it down some, to around 900 pages, offered here in two parts.

What would eventually become a book, sat on the shelf untended until about 3 years ago. In 2009, when I began rereading the manuscript, I found that many of the topics I had discussed over 10 yrs. earlier, seemed oddly apt for what's happening in the world today.


As it turned out, it seemed to have some structure to it. That was because my will to exist increased, as did my delusion, which needn't necessarily be a BAD thing. As I directed my attention toward the kind of future I wanted, I realized that the world needed some changes in order for that to happen. For 4 years, I began to create inside my head, a better world. In the thought experiments that followed, I examined some of the ways we could secure for our entire species, a better world for ourselves. Here's what I was compelled to write:


From the vantage point of a species that's so aware of its own finality, I chose to believe in some eternal life force — something that can transcend physical existence and traverse the photonic plane. A being of biology can die, as the eons have always been so keen at bearing out. But a being of light (energy) can never be diminished.


In this book, both science and theology were given their due, along with the failings that come with each. A yawning chasm of distance has kept faith and physics forever at odds. How can that gap be closed? It's apparent that reconciliation is in order between these diametrically opposed philosophies.


A new consciousness is dawning. It suggests we're getting tired of business as usual. It's more difficult for us to put our trust in the old power structures of government & religion. We're not so blind as to be able to ignore the problems continuing to plague our world at large. But in spite of this, there are the tenants of tradition, the majority of people who still cling stubbornly to the old ways of doing things. Trying to keep up with my own manic mind, I offer the argument that both politics & religion are becoming dying breeds. If there's to be a better world, it will be up to us to build it.

Tradition is a commodity we can no longer afford. Political agendas serve only to divide us, and not to unite us. Being so secular might seem right, so long as you manage to hoist upon your sagging shoulders, the burden of the status quo.


But how long can this continue as the ideals that had once worked so well, begin to crumble before the needs of an entire globe? Patriotic fervor, along with America's penchant for entitlement, is losing ground. The future suggests a favoring of globalization. Barriers are made to be broken, and the present becomes the past. But what of the future?


I talk a lot about “never” here. Never, for instance, will humanity be capable of positive change. Never, will there be a world without strife and hunger. The word never keeps us back. We’ll stay in the shadows of never, indefinitely --- until we realize never is already here