Happy Nude Year!

HAPPY NUDE YEAR! A FESTIVE TALE FOR TROUBLED TIMES

Happy New Year from everyone’s favorite Big Girl Gone Bad: Lulu Dean.

In this short, festive story, Lulu recounts the tale of one truly memorable New Year’s Eve—celebrated on Valentine’s Day. Since she met her husband at a mutual friend’s party on December 31st, they celebrate the event with a special vacation at least every other year. When her husband announces they're taking an unexpected trip to a surprising destination, Lulu must juggle countless emotions, bundles of disappointment and four jumbo packages of Funyuns before she’s ready for the excursion.

Here’s a bite-sized selection from the story:

“So, I’m honestly and truly pumped,” my husband said. “We’re going to save in the neighborhood of four-hundred bucks by accepting Lester’s offer to visit La Verdad Desnuda for our biannual New Year’s Eve celebration.”

I closed my eyes, took a cleansing breath and counted to ten. Then I said, “La Verdad Desnuda?”

My husband nodded. “Yeah, that’s the place in Key West,” he said. “La Verdad Desnuda means ‘the naked truth’ in Spanish.” He laughed, waited for me to join in and then continued with his clarification when I remained unmoved by the irony. “So, Lester thought he could squeeze us in on the actual New Year’s weekend, right? But the place was completely booked. Since he’d already mentioned the Naughty Nuptial Discount Delight Package, he called his buddy and wangled us the same deal for Valentine’s Day.”

I found the strength to raise one index finger and twirl it in the air. “Whoopee! How lucky are we?”

My beloved sat upright, grinning once again. “I know! Isn’t it fantastic! The place has poolside cabanas with king-size beds, fully-loaded bars and private Jacuzzi tubs.”

He stopped to see if the excitement was infectious. It wasn’t. My mind was busy reeling through the logistics of finishing the conversation with my husband, sending him back to the store and scurrying around the house to make up for lost time.

“You always wanted to stay at a place with a private Jacuzzi,” he went on. “So that’s one thing you’ll be able to cross off your bucket list.”

Oh, goodie! I thought. Surrounded by naked supermodels and achieving a lifelong goal at the same time. Talk about multitasking!


About the Author

In her dreams, Lulu Dean has never ruined one of her husband’s shirts in the laundry, rarely eats twice her weight in red velvet cake and almost never holds a grudge.

In the real world, however, she is the inquisitive, far from willowy and occasionally impatient author of Does This Pink Slip Make Me Look Fat?, Big Girls Rule, Happy Nude Year!, Big Girls Bounce and Bra, Humbug.