101 Witty Quotes About Lawyers

Lawyers…

We love to hate them until we need them…

Where there was a conflict, there’d always been a lawyer and the chances are there always will be one in the foreseeable future as well.

While, on the one hand, we vent our frustration at the way legal system and lawyers work (or don’t), we on the other hand can’t help but secretly (or sometimes even openly) wish that our children become lawyers.

So for all the right and wrong reasons with which we both envy and deride the professionals of this critical profession…

Here goes a collection of 101 wisecracks about lawyers that betray our deeply conflicted approach to this perhaps the second oldest profession in the world.

Here are some of them:

1. Some men are heterosexual and some men are bisexual and some men don't think about sex at all ... you know, they become lawyers. -- Woody Allen

2. Make crime pay. Become a lawyer. -- Will Rogers

3. The only difference between a dead skunk lying in the road and a dead lawyer lying in the road is that there are skid marks around the skunk. -- Patrick Murray

4. I busted a mirror and got seven years bad luck, but my lawyer thinks he can get me five. -- Steven Wright

5. How many lawyer jokes are there? One, the rest are true stories. – Thomas F. Shubnell

Dozens more in this delightful collection…

Over 2,400 words. Enjoy!