50 Shades of Gray Matter (Book 1 - Book 5) (The Swordsman Series) / Pat Connid

Book Cover 50 Shades of Gray Matter (Book 1 - Book 5) (The Swordsman Series)
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*"These books just keep getting better and more hilarious as they go on!"-- Rene, GoodReads.com
*"This was too funny… Laughing just thinking about it!"-- LadyP, Amazon reader
*"Hard to put down!" -- Judy, GoodReads.com

This is the COMPLETE five-part trilogy--

50 SHADES OF GRAY MATTER
(or How I Nearly Stopped the Zombie Apocalypse with an Erection)

a semi-erotica, zombie apocalypse story

BOOKS 1 - 5

As Hal drives home from his entry level Graphic Designer job, weaving slowly through traffic which the growing zombie commuter population make worse every day, he decides: Why go to work for one more day if, inevitably, waiting in line at the Cinnabon or whatever, I'll suffer the whole "rahrr!" crunch! thing from some wandering gimp?

Coming home to tell his lovely girlfriend about this decision, she greets him with a kiss (well...) and gets him infected, like herself, with the Zombie Bird Flu.

He's seen what becoming a citizen of the Nation of the Undead looks like: Poor hygiene, limited vocabulary, and affinity for 24-7 interstate driving.

Who wants that?

So, Hal stumbles over to a nearby pharmacy, breaks in, finds the locked up stash of prescription pain medication and gobbles down a handful in hopes of slipping off into the sweet slumber of non-zombie death.

But, it hadn't been pain meds he'd downed. It was Erectile Dysfunction medicine.

And, funny that-- it turns out that tiny amount of blood (just being honest) diverted from the brain is just enough to keep the Full Zombie effects at bay. Hal is now a creature inches away from zombie-- Near Zombie.

So, through an odd collections of mistakes, missteps, and total cock ups, Hal (imbued with odd, Near Zombie abilities) sets out to Save Mankind from the Zombie Horde Even Those Who Don't Deserve It.

In truth, it won't likely go very well.


50 SHADES OF GRAY MATTER (The Swordsman Series) is parody, using the elemental themes of the popular erotica series and combining them with the impending zombie Apocalypse.

As the narrator has, in point of fact, been infected by the ZBF (zombie bird flu) and is gradually turning to join the undead race, each Book will be novelette length-- around 10000 words. ** This volume contains all five Books. **
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