Harry Potter, The Rest of the Story

After the G-rated movie ends, what then? We always wonder about the rest of the story. For example, when the guy got the girl, did they finally, in the end, divorce? Did the dashing swain become an alcoholic? Did the damsel become full of sloth and grow fat? Did their son run afoul of the law and do hard time? Did their daughter finish her days turning $25. tricks in a single-wide on the remote edge of Las Vegas?

Well, one can wonder about the characters in Harry Potter, too. It might not be all sweetness and light, you know. In this story, Merlin Sprague plays “what if” with the principal characters. Dumbledore goes bust. Ron comes a-cropper, thanks to an unfortunate physical defect. Harry finds Hermione has a bun in the oven and to make ends meet, sells drugs. Hagrid, though, seems to find his level and ends up OK -- not swell, but OK.

After reading a bit of Harry Potter, it’s easy to see why it’s become a favorite bed-time story -- it’s like a shot of novocaine in the brain. Five minutes of that tripe and you’re down for the count. Coma, here we come.

Come along with Merlin Sprague and let us deride and mock these fatuous and puerile superheroes. As Dumbledore once said to Harry, “Wands out.”