Spare Me

When a Zamboni driven by machine gun wielding Russians smashes through the wall of a mob-owned bowling alley, Leonard Fleischman uses a well-placed bowling ball to go from being the guy who sprays antifungal disinfectant into rental shoes to an all-American hero. Leonard's heroics turn bowling into a nationwide craze and spawn a televised tournament at the Meadowlands where the winner gets $100,000 and a spot on the pro tour.

He'll have to compete against a violent truck driver who wants to punch himself in the liver and a bowling ball engineer who invents a high-tech magic ball that steers itself.

All Leonard has to do is not get killed by a mob tough guy on a Rascal scooter, a hit man trainee with an overprotective mother, a mismatched pair of twin redneck thugs, a bowling ball company security team armed with rocket launchers and a monkey who throws a really mean hook.