Still My Heart

Thad is a former combat medic, and he's going through a rough time. It should be the happiest time of his life, finally reunited with his vampire lover, Ethan, and with a brand new heart in place of the enlarged, hard heart that nearly killed him. Instead, he finds himself utterly unable to enjoy the one thing he could always depend on: sex. Can therapy fix whatever has broken in him? Or will it take him giving up his humanity to finally feel like a man again?
        Thad was hell bent on destroying himself over this.  He was always hell bent on destroying himself over something, though, wasn't he.  When it wasn't over the unfair hand life had dealt him in the failing heart he had nearly let end him until Ethan had offered his own, it was over the terrible, tragic events he'd endured as a combat medic in the Middle East.  And now it was over his sudden inability to maintain an erection.  It was awful.  And Ethan was tired of it.
        He had to swallow his nerves as he marched into the bathroom, braced for the backlash from his self-conscious, self-loathing partner, but enough was enough.  Through the steam-covered glass of the shower door, he could see Thad leaning against the tile, his brow pressed to his forearm.  The sound of choking sobs barely rose above the hiss of the water.  Ethan's heart broke for it.  He had done everything he could think of-- soothed, joked, pleaded, reasoned, and withdrawn.  None of that had helped.  But there was still one option he hadn't tried. 
        Thad jumped as he entered the shower, blood-shot gray eyes going wide, his hand jerking away from the decidedly uninspired length hanging apathetically between his legs. 
        "We're done with this," Ethan said, dark eyes locked with Thad's, more authority in his voice than he was generally comfortable with.  "We've tried your way.  Your way sucks.  Now we're going to try my way."  Ethan pushed him firmly against the wall and seized his mouth in a disproportionately soft, sweet kiss.  Thad tried to push him off, but his heart wasn't in it, his hands mostly resting against Ethan's chest.  He cupped Thad's wet, unshaven face in his hands, thumbs stroking gently as he kissed the man over and over.  "I love you, you stupid ass," he said with an imploring smile between kisses.  "So stop shutting me out."  Thad sighed, his shoulders slumping, the hot water pouring down on them both.
        "I'm not trying to shut you out," he lied, eyes fixed on Ethan's chest where a thin scar ran down the center, the only proof that they had literally given their hearts to each other three months ago.  Ethan knew that just served as another convenient excuse for the guilt the man seemed to crave so incessantly.
        "Then talk to me.  Tell me what's going on."  He pressed soft kisses to Thad's cheeks, his forehead, his nose, wanting to shower the man in the affection he'd been aggressively denying himself.  Thad sighed again.
        "I don't know what to say."  Well, that had been fairly obvious.