Pushing the Ugly Out: A Story of Victory

“Pushing the Ugly Out” is a lighthearted memoir of my life. It takes my reader on a journey through my experience of Massage Therapy School. Upon my enrolling into the program I initially just wanted to hide from my pain. I had tar covered memories stalking me and snatching my breath middream. With hurt stuck to my skin and the aftertaste of betrayal still fresh, I decided I would hide out in the school. However, the very place I went to hide would bring out memories of an lifelong, and alone journey.

I never expected to make it through the program. The odds were certainly stacked against me. I was single, three children, one of which was a newborn, I had no car, and my water was being disconnected. I had one pair of shoes I wore everyday. They were old, smelly, and really embarrassing. Yes, I was alone, or was I.

It wasn’t until the end of the program. I started to FEEL God as I never had before. Sure, I had spoken with him. I had witnessed an act of kindness from a stranger, and have occasionally heard his voice, but never had I felt God the way I did at the end of my story.

Much like the poem footprints, I was convinced he had abandoned me just like my father, and daughter’s fathers’. It was at the moment when I actually completed something that I looked back and realized that He carried me too. He loved me that much.