What They Don't Tell You About Bipolar Disorder
Book Details
Author(s)Dennis Heil
ISBN / ASINB011W1YCF4
ISBN-13978B011W1YCF7
Sales Rank60,459
MarketplaceUnited States 🇺🇸
Description
My name is Dennis and I am a 35 year old High-Functioning Autistic man with Type 2 Bipolar Disorder. I started Bipolar cycling at about 14. At 15, I had my first of seven suicide attempts. The combination of social and emotional isolation of Autism and a severe Depressive cycle caused me to put a loaded gun to my head and pull the trigger on a dud round. I told no one until I was 29 when I finally realized I needed psychological help.
I spent 15 years undiagnosed with Type 2 Bipolar Disorder. I spent about 80% of my teenage through adult life in mild to suicidal depression, 15% hypomanic, and 5% other. Today? I still have my problems, but I'm finally able to love myself. I have a large degree of control over the Disorder because I've suffered and worked hard to achieve it.
In that 15 years, I had been hopeless, pointless, suicidal, homicidal, violent, homeless, a drug and alcohol abuser, and so much more. No one in my immediate family was mentally ill, so no one really understood what was going on in my mind.
What I did not realize until I was 30 is that I am a High-Functioning Autistic as well. Autism, like Bipolar Disorder, manifests in people in different ways. In my case, it broke all of the natural social and emotional processes normal people have. It also broke my ability to verbalize my emotions when I feel vulnerable. It's like trying to pull words out of a blank dictionary. So frustrating.
Because I was unable to communicate my difficulties with other people, I developed a very negative point of view of myself. I thought I was irresponsible, immature, and an awful person because I was doing awful things for insane reasons. I was under the delusional impression that everyone had similar problems, they just handled them better than I did.
Diagnosis was the greatest day of my life. It was the day I realized I had a mental illness that could be controlled. I had reached the end, in my mind. I would either get well or kill myself. I could not continue to live how I was. I was diagnosed at 29 and began educating myself about my problems. At 32, I launched my website and began my own advocacy work because I disliked the way Bipolar Disorder is represented.
I, like many people, turned to the internet for information. I found a lot of soft garbage, rehashing of the DSM, and people trying to make themselves feel better about their situation. That's all well and good, but it wasn't useful. I launched my body of work with the intent to enable people to make better decisions for pursuing wellness and understand their loved ones. No BS, no fluff, no garbage.
The title What They Don't Tell You About Bipolar Disorder is literal. It explores the circumstances surrounding many facets of wellness, navigating mental health systems, understanding how unwell cycles warp perception, how to handle these things, finding resources to get well, stigma-based beliefs, and much more.
My goal is to enable others to make better decisions for themselves, whether they are mentally ill, a loved one, or a professional looking to understand our challenges better.
I am not a doctor, counselor, or lawyer. I do not comment on what a person should do about medication, the quality of, or make recommendations. No aspect of my body of work or advocacy should be taken as medical or legal advice. All decisions made should be done with an appropriate, knowledgeable professional who is familiar with our personal situation.
Mental illness is a very personal experience. A reader may not be able to identify with anything I say in this book. That's fine. I've read plenty of things I could not identify with. Never stop the pursuit of knowledge in dealing with Bipolar Disorder. Our personal knowledge is the only way to find wellness because wellness is about 5% mental health establishment, 95% personal work.
I spent 15 years undiagnosed with Type 2 Bipolar Disorder. I spent about 80% of my teenage through adult life in mild to suicidal depression, 15% hypomanic, and 5% other. Today? I still have my problems, but I'm finally able to love myself. I have a large degree of control over the Disorder because I've suffered and worked hard to achieve it.
In that 15 years, I had been hopeless, pointless, suicidal, homicidal, violent, homeless, a drug and alcohol abuser, and so much more. No one in my immediate family was mentally ill, so no one really understood what was going on in my mind.
What I did not realize until I was 30 is that I am a High-Functioning Autistic as well. Autism, like Bipolar Disorder, manifests in people in different ways. In my case, it broke all of the natural social and emotional processes normal people have. It also broke my ability to verbalize my emotions when I feel vulnerable. It's like trying to pull words out of a blank dictionary. So frustrating.
Because I was unable to communicate my difficulties with other people, I developed a very negative point of view of myself. I thought I was irresponsible, immature, and an awful person because I was doing awful things for insane reasons. I was under the delusional impression that everyone had similar problems, they just handled them better than I did.
Diagnosis was the greatest day of my life. It was the day I realized I had a mental illness that could be controlled. I had reached the end, in my mind. I would either get well or kill myself. I could not continue to live how I was. I was diagnosed at 29 and began educating myself about my problems. At 32, I launched my website and began my own advocacy work because I disliked the way Bipolar Disorder is represented.
I, like many people, turned to the internet for information. I found a lot of soft garbage, rehashing of the DSM, and people trying to make themselves feel better about their situation. That's all well and good, but it wasn't useful. I launched my body of work with the intent to enable people to make better decisions for pursuing wellness and understand their loved ones. No BS, no fluff, no garbage.
The title What They Don't Tell You About Bipolar Disorder is literal. It explores the circumstances surrounding many facets of wellness, navigating mental health systems, understanding how unwell cycles warp perception, how to handle these things, finding resources to get well, stigma-based beliefs, and much more.
My goal is to enable others to make better decisions for themselves, whether they are mentally ill, a loved one, or a professional looking to understand our challenges better.
I am not a doctor, counselor, or lawyer. I do not comment on what a person should do about medication, the quality of, or make recommendations. No aspect of my body of work or advocacy should be taken as medical or legal advice. All decisions made should be done with an appropriate, knowledgeable professional who is familiar with our personal situation.
Mental illness is a very personal experience. A reader may not be able to identify with anything I say in this book. That's fine. I've read plenty of things I could not identify with. Never stop the pursuit of knowledge in dealing with Bipolar Disorder. Our personal knowledge is the only way to find wellness because wellness is about 5% mental health establishment, 95% personal work.
