I Choose Forgiveness / Edwene Gaines
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Forgiveness is a gift you give yourself. It is an act of tremendous self-love to forgive not only others, but especially yourself.
We all have experiences in our lives that we are not proud of, that cause us shame and guilt when we remember and relive them. They embarrass us and cause us grief.
We have all been hurt, disappointed, cheated, lied to, or betrayed by others along this seemingly fragile pathway we call our lives. However, we have likely also hurt, disappointed, cheated, lied to, and betrayed others and ourselves, sometimes without even knowing, sometimes not even caring.
At times, our pain and our shame give us reason to feel that we cannot forgive, that the “slings and arrows of outrageous fortune” have cut us too deeply and were unspeakably wrong.
Remember, though, that when we were born, no one gave us or anyone else a handbook and told us, “Here, this is the way to live your life.” Instead, most of our movement through our days has been by trial and error. The truth is most of us were born to imperfect parents who, while they may have been forced to learn through trial and error also, had made plenty of mistakes in their raising of us. Still, they gave us all the love they were capable of, given their background and their experience. And, yes, I know, some of it was pretty awful for many of us. However, we must recognize that our parents did the best they could with the life tools and strategies they had. If we want to have greater peace in our own hearts now—for this is the great gift that forgiveness offers—it is time for us to let them off the hook, to see them with new eyes, to feel for them with understanding hearts.
When we review our own roles as parents, wouldn’t we all do things very differently,
knowing what we know now, if we had it to do over? Would we not be much better parents now
because of all we have learned?
It seems true about all of us that we always did the best we knew how to do. If we had
known better, we would have done better. If we had it all to do over again, we would live our lives in a higher and better way, because we are not the same person now that we were then.
We have grown. We have learned some new ways of behaving. We have developed some compassion and understanding. Hopefully, we are less fearful and more confident, kinder, and more accepting of ourselves and others.
Now, it is time to heal our past. Think for a moment about your exes, if you have any. Take this little test. Close your eyes briefly now and remember your time with your exes. (This includes ex-spouses, ex-lovers, ex-business partners, ex-bosses, ex-employees, ex-neighbors
ex-anyone.) Check to see how you feel as you remember your experiences with these exes.
Give yourself a moment or two to let your feelings arise.
Now, if there is any feeling there other than love and appreciation, what you are doing is sending out an invisible fishing line with a big hook on the end of it. You are going to hook and reel into your life someone just like them and these new relationships will give you the opportunity once more to learn what your earlier teachers (exes) came to teach you.
You see, your ex-whatever came into your life to teach you something and to learn something from you. Before they arrived on the scene, at the soul level, each of your exes had received an engraved invitation to come into your life. As long as you are living in blame, resentment and judgment, you cannot heal and you did not get the lesson. Guess what, you get to repeat this life lesson over and over until you get it!
Now you can buy Books online in USA,UK, India and more than 100 countries.
*Terms and Conditions apply
Disclaimer: All product data on this page belongs to
.
No guarantees are made as to accuracy of prices and information.
We all have experiences in our lives that we are not proud of, that cause us shame and guilt when we remember and relive them. They embarrass us and cause us grief.
We have all been hurt, disappointed, cheated, lied to, or betrayed by others along this seemingly fragile pathway we call our lives. However, we have likely also hurt, disappointed, cheated, lied to, and betrayed others and ourselves, sometimes without even knowing, sometimes not even caring.
At times, our pain and our shame give us reason to feel that we cannot forgive, that the “slings and arrows of outrageous fortune” have cut us too deeply and were unspeakably wrong.
Remember, though, that when we were born, no one gave us or anyone else a handbook and told us, “Here, this is the way to live your life.” Instead, most of our movement through our days has been by trial and error. The truth is most of us were born to imperfect parents who, while they may have been forced to learn through trial and error also, had made plenty of mistakes in their raising of us. Still, they gave us all the love they were capable of, given their background and their experience. And, yes, I know, some of it was pretty awful for many of us. However, we must recognize that our parents did the best they could with the life tools and strategies they had. If we want to have greater peace in our own hearts now—for this is the great gift that forgiveness offers—it is time for us to let them off the hook, to see them with new eyes, to feel for them with understanding hearts.
When we review our own roles as parents, wouldn’t we all do things very differently,
knowing what we know now, if we had it to do over? Would we not be much better parents now
because of all we have learned?
It seems true about all of us that we always did the best we knew how to do. If we had
known better, we would have done better. If we had it all to do over again, we would live our lives in a higher and better way, because we are not the same person now that we were then.
We have grown. We have learned some new ways of behaving. We have developed some compassion and understanding. Hopefully, we are less fearful and more confident, kinder, and more accepting of ourselves and others.
Now, it is time to heal our past. Think for a moment about your exes, if you have any. Take this little test. Close your eyes briefly now and remember your time with your exes. (This includes ex-spouses, ex-lovers, ex-business partners, ex-bosses, ex-employees, ex-neighbors
ex-anyone.) Check to see how you feel as you remember your experiences with these exes.
Give yourself a moment or two to let your feelings arise.
Now, if there is any feeling there other than love and appreciation, what you are doing is sending out an invisible fishing line with a big hook on the end of it. You are going to hook and reel into your life someone just like them and these new relationships will give you the opportunity once more to learn what your earlier teachers (exes) came to teach you.
You see, your ex-whatever came into your life to teach you something and to learn something from you. Before they arrived on the scene, at the soul level, each of your exes had received an engraved invitation to come into your life. As long as you are living in blame, resentment and judgment, you cannot heal and you did not get the lesson. Guess what, you get to repeat this life lesson over and over until you get it!
Now you can buy Books online in USA,UK, India and more than 100 countries.
*Terms and Conditions apply
Disclaimer: All product data on this page belongs to
.No guarantees are made as to accuracy of prices and information.
