Cremains: A comedy crime caper

“It’s not every day that you see some old granny crushed to death under a baby grand piano, and I’m truly grateful for that. I really am. But the even bigger shock was that this woman – a complete stranger – would be coming back to haunt me in the days to come. Not in a spooky, walking-through-walls kind of way but something a lot more real and far more dangerous.”

When sacked bank manager turned bank robber Max Dempsey (aka Simon Golightly) finds himself deep in debt to dodgy undertaker Danny Bishop, he’s prepared to do almost anything to pay it off and keep all of his fingers.

But he’s likely to lose a lot more than his fingers when he agrees to do a “little job” for Danny and unintentionally crosses psychopathic Greek gangster, Nikos Spiropoulos.

Meanwhile, Bernard Pemberton and his granddaughter Tess are on a road trip to scatter their beloved Dottie’s ashes on a Scottish hilltop, but is it really her ashes in the cremation urn or something else altogether?

Cremains is a crime caper that twists and turns its way towards a conclusion that even Max himself couldn’t have predicted.