Life's Little Destruction Book: Everyday Rescue for Beauty, Fashion, Relationships, and Life

Goody two-shoeism hangs like an angel's halo over the land, pressuring us to improve ourselves and constantly do the right thing. Recycling has us going around in circles. Sensitivity shades into silliness. One more rant about co-dependency and we will all go cuckoo. There are just too many good things to do. Unchecked, the pursuit of perfection threatens to erase the little quirks and foibles that make us us. If we become any nicer, better behaved, more socially concerned, blissful- or repressed- we could end up a nation of ax murderers. Enough already. The prescriptions and advice on these pages are meant as an antidote to niceness run rampant. The site points the way back toward sanity. Let each sentence be your clarion call. Think small and indulge yourself; vent your spleen lest it explode and splatter your neighbor. Go ahead and be a little obnoxious; make sucking noises; be pushy. Learn again to belittle, belabor, and betray. Use more plastic, grind your teeth and experience once again the exquisite satisfaction you once knew as a child when you peed in the pool. Our American way of life may depend on it.

• More Life's Little Destruction Book: A Parody
• Life's Great Little Destruction Omnibus