Sh*t My Kids Ruined: An A-Z Celebration of Kid-Destruction

A pictorial tribute to the filthy, distasteful, gross, and painful moments of parenthood, and the children who make it all possible.
 
Kids: they are the light of your life—and the enemy of all things fragile, intact, and clean. But why cry over spilt milk . . . or paint . . . or the entire contents of a full-size swimming pool? A testament to the messiness of childhood (and parenting), and a memorial to the household items that perished along the way, here are never-before-seen photos and outrageous stories of VCRs jammed with toys, toilets clogged with clothes, and furniture accented with permanent marker. Torn-up computer keyboards and torn-out hair, botched family photos and mustard-covered treadmills—nothing is off limits to your darling, destructive offspring. So raise a broken glass and embrace the madness, because laughter is the only surefire way to keep your sh*t together.

• How to Traumatize Your Children: 7 Proven Methods to Help You Screw Up Your Kids Deliberately and with Skill
• Awkward Family Photos
• Toddlers Are A**holes: It's Not Your Fault
• Go the F**k to Sleep
• Calm the F*ck Down: The Only Parenting Technique You'll Ever Need
• Sh*t My Dad Says