Stupid Sex

This alphabetical compendium of carnal catastrophes is enough to make anyone consider celibacy. Kathryn and Ross Petras, the authors of The 776 Stupidest Things Ever Said, prove that all kinds of things can and will go wrong when people start to think with their reproductive organs.

Hundreds of furious moviegoers trashed a local movie theater in Rio de Janeiro, Brazil. The movie they had paid to see--Furious Copulation--was not what the title suggested. Instead, it showed a man chasing a chicken. The owner promised to change the title on the marquee to The Pervert's Express.

From the India-South Korea condom conflict, to a woman with a remarkable way of playing the flute, everything that can go wrong does go wrong. Some of these stories are not for the squeamish, but they provide a hilarious picture of the lengths to which some people will go for a thrill. Remember kids, don't try any of this at home. --Simon Leake