Emotional Infidelity: How to Affair-Proof Your Marriage and 10 Other Secrets to a Great Relationship

You don't have to have sex to cheat on your marriage, counsels M. Gary Neuman in his practical and provocative book, Emotional Infidelity. Neuman, a therapist, family mediator, and rabbi, suggests that when you invest your emotional energy in opposite-sex coworkers or friends--instead of focusing on your spouse--you are unfaithful to your marriage. With clear case examples, scenes from his own marriage, quizzes, and exercises, Neuman illustrates 11 "secrets" that couples can apply to insulate and protect their marriage. Each secret is defined in a separate chapter, along with a blueprint for bringing it home. For example, the secret of setting marital goals includes a step-by-step guide to creating a "marriage proposal," and the chapter about the impact of childhood in marriage offers readers probing questions about the legacy of their parents' marriage. However, Neuman's most controversial secret is his ability to skewer the myth of marriage as mutual independence. Instead, he urges couples to establish a "healthy co-dependence" in their marriage and to "protect their marriage against emotional infidelity by avoiding friendships with members of the opposite sex." Neuman's passion for increasing focus and commitment in marriage can be both persuasive and challenging, with his clear values and strategies requiring that readers reexamine their ideas about marriage. --Barbara Mackoff