If you ever wondered what 50 would look like on a former alcoholic tattooed shoe addict who eats cake out of her garbage can and secretly prays to her vagina to die on a regular basis - well wonder no more and Welcome to Heidi. This collection of stories culled from over 300 blogs and rewritten for your pleasure will take readers on a journey they never expected and perhaps never knew they wanted to go on.

From dating, to how to tame Jewish hair, getting a pot license at 52, and surviving what is perhaps the worst Hollywood job ever Welcome To Heidi will remind you to laugh at life s most inane moments even when those moments are happening to you.

Welcome To Heidi says everything you wish you could say but can t and proves that having it all is possible as long as the all is shoes. Take a trip inside the mind of a sarcastic, dysmorphic, slightly mental, completely fashion addicted, single woman who s trying to live the second half of her life with zero apologies and massive debt.

Welcome to Heidi you ll never want to leave.