Rather than assuming that men and women are from different planets, the authors explore how every culture invents sex-linked communication styles. Their key to effectiveness is "Gender-Flexing," a technique to recognize the limits of sexual typecasting and make strategic--rather than sex linked--decisions about non-verbal signals. The question becomes: What kind of non-verbal behavior will be most effective in this situation? The answer is found in understanding how a smiling woman can undercut her credibility or why a stone-faced man fails to convey understanding.
The authors' approach is anthropological, drawing on work of Ray Birdwhistell and Edward Hall, but it is also readable and highly practical. They focus on the misunderstandings that result from "typical" gender facial expressions (the flirt or poker face), eye contact (avoid the stare down and the down cast eyes), touch (death to the limp handshake and the space violator posture) and hand gestures (how to--and how not to--talk with your hands). This well written book is peppered with research and packed with solid advice. --Barbara Mackoff