Marriage In Motion: The Natural Ebb & Flow Of Lasting Relationships

Like the tides, marriages are always in motion, according to psychiatrists, coauthors, and marital partners Jacqueline Olds and Richard Schwartz. They claim that learning to respect and accommodate the natural rhythm of closeness and separation is crucial to having a successful marriage. Unfortunately, many people believe that a healthy marriage is always intensely intimate and anything less is a sign of trouble. "Yet a moment's honest reflection, even in the best of marriages and friendships, will confirm a simple though troubling observation: people are almost always moving closer together or further apart," the authors write. This natural ebb and flow--going through periods of distance and then coming together and rediscovering intimacy--can even be a joyful process if couples are careful not to drift too far apart.

Olds and Schwartz offer chapters for couples of all ages and in all stages of marriage. Using anecdotes from real-life couples, as well as their experience as therapists, the authors delve into common marital problems such as jealousy, adulterous urges, one partner desiring more intimacy than the other, and both partners being too busy with work and child-rearing to be sexually intimate. No matter where this thoughtful couple drifts, they manage to stay anchored in sensible and intelligent advice, making it a worthy read for anyone who's struggled with the ebb and flow of intimacy (which means just about everyone). --Gail Hudson