Dating Secrets of the Ten Commandments

In Kosher Sex, Rabbi Shmuley Boteach teaches the place of sex in marriage. But if you haven't yet stood under the chupah (or at the altar--Boteach's books are for everyone, not just Jews), the good rabbi has some advice for you in Dating Secrets of the Ten Commandments. By using the 10 Commandments and the laws of the Old Testament as a guide to romance, Boteach advises how to find a soul mate (a person who completes you) as opposed to a partner (who is merely a companion). All of his sensible advice is inferred from the basic tenets of Judaism in a manner that will have you nodding your head in agreement (he extrapolates from the Fifth Commandment, "Honor your Father and your Mother," the ideals of gratitude in dating). Yes, some of his advice is commonsense, even at times downright silly ("try singing together on a date," he suggests), but many of his ideas are not only logical, they are presented in such a droll manner that you'll keep reading just to enjoy his whimsical style. Using his own marriage and the failed dates of others as fodder, he explores the proper way to treat a date, with suggestions on what to talk about and how to behave. At times, the language does not sound as if it is coming from a man of the cloth--he jokingly confesses to having memorized all of Portnoy's Complaint, and he refers with ease to Viagra, Tweety Bird boxer shorts, and rubber dolls. But when you dig beneath the lighthearted tone, the advice is sound: listen to your date; care for him or her as you would the Sabbath, a sacred day to be honored and guarded; be generous with your compliments and slow to anger. While you may not agree with all he has to say, Boteach is never preachy (even when stating his views about abstinence until marriage, he is firm without being close-minded). Dating Secrets is a fun yet constructive guide, and just might help you on the way to finding your soul mate. --Jenny Brown