Hartz String Theory

Ãœbernerd Mike Thomas works in the engineering lab late at night-using borrowed equipment to bridge relativity theory and quantum physics by experimenting with hexavalent Cesium and standing microwaves. He comes to the attention of various entities, including the Sovereign Union of Vagabonds, the Agents of Karnage, the National Institute of Standards and Technology, and Polly, the pretty clerk who works in Document Control. Will he survive long enough to reinvent the world and get the girl?