Being Dead Is No Excuse: The Official Southern Ladies Guide to Hosting the Perfect Funeral

Folks in the Delta have a strong sense of community, and being dead is no impediment to belonging to it. Down South, they don't forget you when you've up and died--in fact, they visit you more often. But there are quintessential rules and rituals for kicking the bucket tastefully. Having a flawless funeral is one of them.

In this deliciously entertaining slice of Southern life (and death), inveterate hostess Gayden Metcalfe explains everything you need to know to host an authentic Southern funeral. Can you be properly buried without tomato aspic? Who prepares tastier funeral fare, the Episcopal ladies or the Methodist ladies? And what does one do when a family gets three sheets to the wind and eats the entire feast the night before a funeral?

Each chapter includes a delicious, tried-and-true Southern recipe, critical if you plan to die tastefully any time soon. Pickled Shrimp, Aunt Hebe's Coconut Cake, and the ubiquitous Bing Cherry Salad with Coca-Cola are among the many dishes guaranteed to make the next funeral the most satisfying one yet.

Even if you've never been south of Rochester, this book will charm, it will entertain, and it will give you all the ingredients required for the perfect Southern send-off.

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• Suck Your Stomach in and Put Some Color On!: What Southern Mamas Tell Their Daughters that the Rest of Y'all Should Know Too
• Somebody Is Going to Die if Lilly Beth Doesn't Catch That Bouquet: The Official Southern Ladies' Guide to Hosting the Perfect Wedding
• The Southern Sympathy Cookbook: Funeral Food with a Twist
• Thoughts for Buffets: the companion volume to Thoughts For Food
• At My Table: A Celebration of Home Cooking
• When Did White Trash Become the New Normal?: A Southern Lady Asks the Impertinent Question
• A Southern Belle Primer: Why Princess Margaret Will Never Be a Kappa Kappa Gamma
• Talk Southern to Me: Stories & Sayings to Accent Your Life
• Swag: Southern Women Aging Gracefully