From The Misanthrope's Guide to Life
In this guide, you'll learn how to get away from the pain-in-the-asses who make you seriously consider investing in a fallout shelter and making it your new home. You'll take isolated comfort in these survival strategies, including how to:
- Conduct managed incoherence to get the delivery boy from the lobby to your door
- Take a "French leave" in order to eat alone at work
- Get ousted from your kickball league by dressing as Magnum, P.I. for every game
- Get back at the jerk yapping on his cell phone by reciting the lyrics to Harry Chapin's version of "Cat's in the Cradle"
- End a conversation by "Gwynething" (also known as playing the "I'm delightfully foreign" act) someone to death
This is the survival guide you will be annoyed not to have.