The Da Vinci Commode

The author who brought you the spellbinding novel The Celestine Port-o-potty has forged a brilliant tale of mesmerizing magnitude. When actuary Melvin Blum receives a mysterious late-night phone call from the police regarding the bizarre murder of the curator of Washington D.C.'s famed Shmertz Museum of Contemporary American Art, he is thrust into a shadow world of intrigue and deception. Framed for the killing, Blum is forced to flee with the aid of elusive and stunningly pretty FBI agent Persephone Johannsen. Pursued by both the police and a sinister, vegetable-eating, coffee-drinking group known as the Legumelatté, they uncover a mysterious and powerful organization called the Sons of Birthright that controls the government and possesses the legendary Seat of Power, the toilet used by Jesus Christ in the days before his death. The secrets they discover will shatter all they know about the founding of the United States and everything they hold dear. In this exciting sequel to a highly acclaimed but as yet unwritten and unnamed novel, author Apache Haiku provides a tour de force of action and eroticism that jerks the reader around like a naked mime on a tequila drinking binge.