my broken id: the Alvin Van Limn autobiography, as dictated to his Mother

Who is Alvin Van Limn? Why does he like getting into fights so much? Why did his dead father lay beside the road for two weeks? Why did Bishop Chancery ask what a blow job was? What are Monkey-Birds, and why did they make Alvin cry? Why is his mother helping him write this book? Is Alvin really a famous underground kickboxer? Was Carl his lover, his brother, or his rival? Was he spanked as a child? No. He was not spanked as a child.