Rare Bird: A Memoir of Loss and Love

Rare Bird: A Memoir of Loss and Love

Q&A with Anna Whiston-Donaldson author of Rare Bird1. Tell us the significance of Rare Bird, the title of your memoir?

Rare Bird rose up as the perfect title for this book! Not only was our son enamored with birds, his first word being “bird” at just 7 months, but after his death, we started seeing comforting signs come from birds showing up at the strangest times. Unbeknownst to us, one of my old friends would write a poem about Jack entitled “Rare Avis” or “Rare Bird”. Readers will discover how all this ties together in the book. Jack was so very special. We consider him a rare bird, indeed.

2. What will your community of blog readers find in Rare Bird that is different or new from the journey they have followed since Jack’s passing?

Those who follow my blog An Inch of Gray will recognize my family and our story, as they have walked with us so faithfully since the beginning of this journey. They already know us from my words. That said, they will find more back-story on our marriage and family dynamics, and more of the raw, ugliness of grief than I shared on the blog. They won’t get as many stories about Jack, whom they have come to love, but I think they will get to know him even better in the book.

3. Was there ever a point in the public response to Jack's death, when their sympathy and support felt too much or uncomfortable?

No. I felt like I needed every shred of support I could get. It never felt intrusive to me. Jack’s death was so horrifying and frightening, that any sympathy and love sent out into the world on behalf our family helped to hold us up. In one short day, I went from an anonymous blogger to one whose readers knew where I lived, my real name, etc. But I would not have traded their support in order to stay anonymous. I needed their prayers too much for that. Tim and Margaret had different needs than I did. Tim wanted to be around people in a social setting, and Margaret wanted things to be as normal as possible.

4. How have you and your husband Tim come to interpret the dreams, visions and images of Jack that family and friends shared? Were these helpful?

We accept them as signs of comfort from God. We have come to believe that Jack’s eternal life in heaven is active and vibrant, and that souls find ways of bringing us comfort and assuring us they are safe. I am delighted that so many others—friends, family, and blog readers—experienced similar signs, a whole notebook full of them, because I think that helped all of us see something beautiful and mysterious happening in the midst of something so terrible.