What Do I Say?: Talking and Praying with Someone Who Is Dying

Talking with those who are dying can be difficult even in the best of circumstances. There is a need for guiding family members of the terminally ill, as well as friends, caregivers, and even those more experienced in talking with the dying—clergy, pastoral ministers, hospice workers, and medical personnel—in understanding the best ways this can be done. What Do I Say? provides that guidance. It comes from the heart of author Margrit Anna Banta who, in her work as a pastoral minister with the dying and terminally ill, noted the lack of an accessible resource for family and friends caring for a loved one that can help them in their conversations with the dying person.

What Do I Say? covers both practical matters and spiritual and emotional topics, always mindful of the fact that many people in their final days are not able to talk about or express what they are going through. It touches on areas that should be addressed before someone dies, such as a will, DNR orders, funeral planning, and other topics, and gives suggestions for what to do if someone is non-communicative or unconscious. The last chapter includes prayers to say when family and friends visit with their loved one.

This is not a comprehensive end-of-life planning or medical guide, but a brief overview of how to communicate with someone who is dying. Above all, the book stresses that conveying a sense of loving presence and a willingness to listen are usually what is most needed.

• Final Gifts: Understanding the Special Awareness, Needs, and Communications of the Dying
• The Needs of the Dying: A Guide for Bringing Hope, Comfort, and Love to Life’s Final Chapter
• Final Journeys: A Practical Guide for Bringing Care and Comfort at the End of Life
• Seven Keys to a Peaceful Passing: A Hospice Nurse's Step-by-Step Guide to Hospice
• Prayers and Promises When Facing a Life-Threatening Illness: 30 Short Morning and Evening Reflections
• Midwife for Souls: Spiritual Care for the Dying
• Dying Well: Peace and Possibilities at the End of Life
• The Conversation: A Revolutionary Plan for End-of-Life Care
• Awake at the Bedside: Contemplative Teachings on Palliative and End-of-Life Care
• Living at the End of Life: A Hospice Nurse Addresses the Most Common Questions