Cries of a Black Sheep: Please God, Don't Stop Loving Me

The following is an excerpt from the introduction of Cries of a Black Sheep: Please God, Don't Stop Loving Me and is copyrighted material. No part of this publication may be used or reproduced in any manner whatsoever without written permission: ...Although it has taken me many years to write, I have realized that had I finished this book when I started writing, it would have been told from a very different person and perspective, with nothing but blind rage...So contrary to when I began writing, I have not come to finish this book out of anger. I have realized that what I went through was meant to be. There could only be one reason that I survived all that I went through, with my sanity, which is to take my experiences and try to help others. But I didn't want to just tell my story, so how is it that I could help others by sharing it?...we, as a society, all know child abuse exists whether it is sexual, physical, emotional, or a combination of the three and that it affects millions of children each year and not only in their childhood, but far into their adulthood as well. However, talking about it is still a big, silent taboo, especially among families...there are statistics and information that we can gather from any number of agencies across the country that address the residual effects of child abuse, such as homeless youth, violence, addictions, suicides, and more, but I want to go deeper, behind the scenes. In sharing my story, I want to unveil the darkness and get rid of the taboo. I want to help people understand what literally goes on inside the mind of a child who is experiencing abuse and, more specifically, sexual abuse, as they grow up. And not only what goes on in their mind, but also what happens to their spirit. What do they begin thinking and believing deep down; what becomes their truth and their reality as they learn to cope the best they can with the confusion, anger, sadness and rage that develops inside? How are they viewing the world and how are they interpreting what they experience, all the while, having to solely focus on just surviving?...I will take you, the reader, on a journey inside my own mind while telling my story and sharing how I personally developed psychologically, emotionally, and spiritually as I grew up and then entered into adulthood, as well as how I recovered and finally found peace, and I will hold nothing back...child sexual abuse is far too serious, and there are far too many children and adults out there who have been hurt and damaged from what has been done to them at the hands of another and, too often, the damage is beyond repair. By coming on this journey with me, you are sure to gain some insight, knowledge, and understanding, and with that, it will help pave the way out of the silence and the ignorance which breeds so many black sheep, so many lost children. More important, this book is for those who are victims and survivors of sexual abuse, domestic violence, or any other kind of abuse, and who are in recovery, or who haven't been able to find their way there just yet...you are not alone, and you are not crazy! By reading my story, it is my wish it will provide you with hope, courage, and inspiration so that you, too, can find the strength to fight for your life, for your independence and happiness, and to reclaim your spirit; so that you, too, can emerge from the darkness and find your true self and be able to continue the rest of your journey with a new-found strength in which you will never let anyone take your soul, or own your power again. It is my hope that you, too, can finally find peace.