Me and My Black Dog: A true story about a soldiers journey into PTSD, Depression and Perfectionism (The P T Saunders story)

I am a survivor of horrific child abuse, and veteran of the Falklands conflict of 1982 who served in the army for a period of twelve years from 1980-1992. three of which were with the Special Air Service (SAS) This book is about my personal battle with PTSD, depression and perfectionism (My Black Dog). It chronicles how my illness developed over number of years, my nightmares, my enlightening Stay in in mental institution and how PTSD and depression never really goes away. I liken my illness to a big Black dog which at times casts a dark shadow over my mental well-being. Goodreads Book Review By Betty Taylor:This is the very raw story of a man who served his country, fought in the Falklands, and then had extreme difficulty adjusting after the war. But it is actually much more than that. Yes, like many veterans of combat he fought – and continues to fight – with Post Traumatic Stress Disorder. However, the factors leading to his PTSD began long before he ever put on his uniform and picked up a gun.Paul and his siblings suffered for 14 years at the hands of a violently abusive stepfather. This in itself, with no intervention of counselling, set Paul up for a life of explosive bouts of anger and violence.Then Paul went to war and witnessed horrific sights on the battlefield, sights that the human mind itself recognizes is not “normal”. Come night-time Paul’s sleep was disrupted as his brain tried to make sense of the visions, smells, and sounds. Unable to get the sleep he desperately needed, he was short-tempered and developed a very short fuse. Paul’s writing is very raw and won’t be for everyone. But his book is not intended to become a “best seller” but rather is an effort to heal by writing out his experiences. After failed suicide attempts and searching for help he finally found a facility that was able to start him on the path of healing.I think the main messages from this book are:1. You are not alone. Many more people in the world are suffering in the same manner.2. It is not a weakness to be experiencing PTSD. You have been exposed to something that is totally ABNORMAL and the human brain is hard-wired to try to make sense of it.3. Keep searching until you find someone or some facility or organization that can help you. Not every medical facility or even mental health facility is adequately trained to deal with PTSD. Keep looking until you find one that works for you.

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