Are You a Taxpayer? Really? Prove It!!

What If someone asked to prove yourself a Taxpayer? I realize that this is somewhat a flight of fancy but, humor me. Exactly what is a Taxpayer? Is there a school for it? You are certainly not born to it, are you? Is there a process you have to go through? Maybe someone certifies you to that station? Just how does it apply to the typical Citizen in the good ole US of A? These and many more questions such as, "Who is an employee? Do you really have a Trade or Business? And, just what is 16th Amendment income?” are answered in the fun and somewhat irreverent style of a pair of grizzled Paratroopers.
In Law anyone making a “claim” is tasked with the burden of proof so:
Are you a Taxpayer?
Really?
Prove it!